How to Eliminate Excuses Completely - Motivational Video
Are you mediocre?
How many times have you asked yourself this question?
When you step out of your house, how many people do you see? Well, you don't, because you have programmed your brain to ignore, to not even acknowledge that vast, never ending count of people around you.
Today when you go outside, I want you to look at as many faces as you can, and ask yourself, "how are you different from them? What are you doing in your life that separates your existence from theirs? Do you feel a sense of achievement, a sense of aliveness when you are around people from different backgrounds, with different range of skills, and talents?
Or do you feel lost, insignificant, and inferior? My question to you is, Why are you not succeeding?
Welcome to the 10 part series in which we will discuss the 10 reasons why you are not at the top of your game, why you are not succeeding!
Today in part 1, we will talk about the problem and the solution to the arch enemy of dreams: excuses.
When you give someone an excuse, when you explain to your boss, your friends, why you can't do something, you believe in your head that they can understand it, that they will relate to your problem, that they somehow become a participant in that suffering.
Let me tell you the first truth, nobody gives a crap! Nobody but nobody, your wife, your friends, your business partners, your colleagues, your parents, or your girlfriend. Nobody gives a shit.
When they say they understand, or stop trying to explain it to you, it's a sign that they have given up on you.
The truth is, your excuses work only on you. It's only you who understands them, values them, and on whom they apply. Given the exact same circumstances, another individual will make entirely different choices than you made; which makes your excuses a lie. Your excuses are the greatest betrayal you are inflicting on yourself. Why?
You have to understand one thing: unless you are a kid of some millionaire or a billionaire, you're born in an imaginary hole, and the first struggle of your life is to climb out of that hole no matter what.
You have the option of just sitting in there with the excuse that it's too high and it's impossible for you to climb out of it. Well, you have two hands and two legs, use them as badly as you can and you will find a way.
Then there is another breed of people who just want to sit in there comfortably and wait for a helping hand, and that includes all the girls who are looking for a guy who'd gladly spend all his life's earnings on them.
And there are men who in their mid 20s, call their parents asking for money when they have to start a business, or buy a car, rent a house, or throw a birthday party. Have some self respect! If you want to buy a car, or start a business, get a job. Start saving, take some hits in your life, and maybe, just maybe you need to bring your standards of living down for a couple of years. You might feel some discomfort but you'd be proud of yourself one day.
Do one thing, Erase the existence of your parents completely in your head and then ask yourself:
Who are you? What have you done in your life?
What do you want to do? And why haven't you done it?
In answering these questions, all your excuses will be exposed automatically.
We are in our own selves a world full of excuses. But as soon as you make a comparison with reality, the problems in those excuses suddenly disappear. You have a house that protects you from the scorching heat of the sun, from the rains and the storms, it is directly protecting you from the cold winds in the winter. You're surrounded and protected comfortably by walls around you. There are people who don't have that. There are people who can't afford electricity and have to steal electricity just so they could have a light bulb in the night. Please tell them your excuses as to why you can't get out of your cosy bed in the morning.
Now I am not entirely discrediting your excuses. Some of them could be legitimate, but if you have excuses, then make an inner pact with yourself right now.
1) You will never talk about them. Not as an excuse. Not for gossip. Not over tea for discussion.
They are your problems. Stop distributing them to everybody else, because what happens is, when you discover these people, these sources with whom you can share your problems, you go to them at the first sight of any trouble and let out what you are feeling, and then you feel fine. Psychologically, you unburdened yourself of what was troubling you by sharing it, which satisfies you momentarily.
But does that solve your problem? No.
The only situation in which you should talk about your problem is, one, you are dedicated to solving that problem.
two, you have a refined group of friends whose only goal is to solve that problem.
and three, it's a genuine problem which is serving as an impediment to your growth.
But in the case of excuses, you have to label them as personal demons that only you can slay, because by sharing, these demons only gain more strength.
If you're late at work, school, or college, apologize rather than giving a reason why.
If you can't study or focus at work, accept that it's your fault in the face of those who criticize you,
If you can't function creatively, take responsibility that you weren't mentally focussed.
By not giving reasons, you accept your excuses as a personal problem, as a disease, and by accepting it, the mind automatically starts the healing process. And by ceasing it, the only option you are left with is to apologize. And the more you apologize, the more shame you'll feel infront of others. And the shame will drive you to change your habits. Let it hit you, I know you're not proud of your excuses, if you can't feel pride, then let it atleast make you feel shame.
Make a pact right now. No matter how big you screw up, you will not give an excuse. You will apologize like a man, and you will admit your incompetency in carrying out the task. And always remember, there is never just once, there is always a second time, and third and the fourth. If you apologize once, make sure you don't have to ever apologize in your life for the same thing. Crush it. Destroy the competition in your second attempt. Make a historical comeback.
What are you waiting for? Some sort of a sign?
Your daily interaction for the major part of your life is with society, friends, your parents, girls, relatives and couple of acquaintances. If you don't change, your friends will move on to other friends who are better suited to them in the future. Society doesn't want you to succeed. Your girlfriend will tell you, she needs a break and three days later start dating another guy.
Mark Twain said, "Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing."
So stop blaming your parents because they didn't let you choose the career of your preference.
You have 24 hours in a day, just like everybody. Are you seriously telling me you invest all those 24 hours on the career that has been thrust on you by your parents? If you really wanted to do something different, you would never give up on it. You would take time off, you would cut time from friendship, from chatting with random girls all night, from binge-watching television shows, from hanging out with cool people, from going to dumb parties, from getting high and getting drunk.
You would save all that time and do what you love. And you will be happy in doing it, because happiness is not a destination, it's a by-product of doing the right thing. Your goal in life is your destination, and the journey towards it is composed of some very hard choices and actions, and while committing those actions, happiness is generated.
So reduce your excuses and maximise your actions.
And stop blaming your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend. You chose them. Take responsibility of your actions. If it was a bad relationship and you're still haunted by it, learn from it, grow from it, and be happy that you are still not stuck in it. Embrace life. Let them go. They were not meant to be with you. Accept it. There are millions of people on this planet and you're definitely not going to meet the best of them by sulking, or using your past relationship as an excuse to not build your life. And if they can't see what a beautiful person you are, it's their loss, not yours.
And finally, stop blaming your circumstances, and the lack of resources.
Let me tell you, out of the 100 richest people in the world, we are talking about billionaires here, 73% are self made. 18 of them have no college degrees. 36 of them are children of poor people.
What the are hell are you whining about?
Start practising and reading about your craft as much as you can. Join facebook groups. Make useful connections instead of spending time on social media for all the stupid reasons, use it for your benefits. Not everyone who is successful comes from a privileged background, there are great established people who love to help. But you have to reach out to them. Let's talk about exams, You have an important exam coming,
- say goodbye to social media
- say goodbye to girls
- say goodbye to friendship, going out, drinking and partying
- lock yourself up in a room, and consider books your greatest friends. Be purely selfish for once. Your future self will thank you for it.
Stop using love as an excuse to destroy your actual life.
Stop using your job as an excuse to not go after your passion.
Think of your passion, your dream as your destination. Close your eyes and think of all the things, habits, activities and people who serve as a distraction in the path of your destination. Then take a decision to eradicate all those distractions so every single step you take is only and only towards your destination, and you will discover peace. You will discover focus. Your will discover your priorities. And you will discover happiness. People will start respecting you, and derive inspiration from you. But you have to practice self control, you have to stop feeding these distractions, you have to start saying NO.
Don't do it for yourself, you may be very happy right now, do it for the person you will be in 5 years, in 10 years, you don't want him to look back at you and call you an idiot, call you names because you ruined every opportunity that came your way. Make his life glorious, rich and full of opportunities so he remembers you everyday and regards you as his hero.