How to Get a Smart College Girlfriend?

How to get a smart Indian girlfriend?
Before we find out how to get a smart girlfriend, let's ask ourselves for a minute, what really is smart?
- Does it mean she gets good grades?
- is she really good at solving sudoku puzzles?
- or she just loves to dress up nice, takes great selfies, and gets attracted to guys who call her smart for no reason whatsoever?


Relationship Problem:
I am deeply in love with a girl, who studies at a University. I wanna impress her and I need your help.
Love- master understands your dilemma. As you stated, she is a student at a reputed university, which would mean she is a smart girl. Is it wrong to assume that scares you?
Well, there is no need to be. There are 4 steps to impress any smart girl:

Step 1. Smart Girls are interested in Guys who like to read.
So whenever you see her the next time, pick anything that is around you which is readable - it doesn't have to be a book. It could be any of the following things:
- A poster on the wall
- A menu
- ingredients on a jam bottle.
- not anything on the screen of your phone
- the scrap of paper upon which rest your snacks.
- anything with letters on it.
Let's say you're eating some sort of snacks on a piece of paper, the moment you see her, throw away the snack and start reading whatever is written on that paper. After 5 seconds of staring at you suspiciously, she would be intensely turned on by your reading skills.

Step 2: Always have intellectual conversations with a Smart Girl. 
Even when she doesn't want to. For example, in the event of her dog passing away, you need to ask her about the cosmological principle. That way you can confirm to her that you are not acting but dedicatedly devoted to knowledge.

STEP 3: Most smart girls are smart because their parents are smart.
That's why for you to be smart, first, you'd need to become an expert in Quantum Mechanics. Then you have to use that knowledge to invent a time machine by which you will travel into the past, meet your father and mother, and tell them to become a brilliant scientist or doctor in the future so you could be born smarter.   

Step 4: You need to be very handsome and rich. 
Because if you are not then you need to forget all the above-mentioned steps as there is no hope for you. Thank you for reaching out.